contemplative planning & impending doom which will result

ok…im screwed…this is a post to remind myself how screwed i am

 today is a tuesday…afternoon..its 5pm now

thursday 11am to 1pm…i have to see a doctor

thursday, friday, saturday and sunday im moving house 

this thursday night i have basketball training from 7:30pm onwards

friday night is a CTP (Christian Training Program) exam that i have to study for..

 saturday night is ministry at church…preparation for dads day~ 6pm onwards~~ singing practice x 2

sunday morning 11 oclock is a party…1.30 guitar practice for church band….2.30 church…4.30 first ever basketball competition…

sunday 5.45…20% assignment is due

monday 2pm…40% midsemester exam

tuesday 12pm…30% midsemester exam

none of which i have studied for……

 currently…open for red bull and caffeine lolly donations…~ ><

Psalms

mmm… todays sermon has left a small pawprint in the back of my mind…it questions..whether I truly have let Jesus live in my heart?

If so, why the emptiness and hopelessness? Why do we go through so many trials and miseries as Christians and why are there seemingly so many restrictions on my actions and thoughts?

 I question…am I truly following Christ and carrying His cross? Am I really His disciple? Do I really let him into every aspect of my life and let him reign over my life? How long has it been since I craved and thirsted for God’s annointing and love?

 Psalms 63:

 O God, you are MY God, earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods, with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you, your right hand upholds me……
God I pray one day that I may love you..as much as King David has….at the moment..i feel that i fall so short of your glory…and i feel so distant from you in my life….

me such an emo Christian…but let me put You first~~~ in all aspects of life…even b4 nice and cute girls.